no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
