the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
