Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
