Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
