My hand turned me down
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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