did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
