i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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