Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
