So drunk its hurt
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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