At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
