i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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