dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
