So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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