we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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