i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
