just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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