so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
