I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize