Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm sobbing to NWA
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
