I hate your face
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
