i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just want to make out with him forever
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
