So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
