He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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