This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
