i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
