My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
