You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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