so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
