Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
