At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
