I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
