Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
