i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
