We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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