I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
