i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
