after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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