I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
