Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
