My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
