last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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