SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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