he was CRYING into my vagina
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
