Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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