Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
