i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
