that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
