Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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