I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
