She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
