Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
