Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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