ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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