the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize