I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
