all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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