I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
