ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
