No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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