she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
