He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
