Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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