In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize