You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
