I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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